• Normal guy: I really want to kiss you.
• Ed Sheeran: All I want is the taste that your lips allow.
• Normal guy: Let's cuddle.
• Ed Sheeran: Cover me up cuddle me in lie down with me and hold me in your arms.
• Normal guy: I want to hug you.
• Ed Sheeran: I was made to keep your body warm but I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms.
• Normal guy: She's a crack whore prostitute.
• Ed Sheeran: And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland or sells love to another man.
• Noraml guy: Marry me?
• Ed Sheeran: Settle down with me and I'll be your safety you'll be my lady.
• Normal guy: I'm sad and lonely.
• Ed Sheeran: 'Cause lately I've been waking up alone, paint splattered teardrops on my shirt.
• Normal guy: I'm going to get wasted and sleep with someone else to forget about you.
• Ed Sheeran: I wanna be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed
• Normal guy: Expect me to drunk diall you later.
• Ed Sheeran: And that tonight I'll call ya, after my blood is drowning in alcohol.

I wish I had more creepy followers that wanted to know about my boring life and just asked me a million questions a day.